Second Best

"You did a good job, but not good enough. 

You are pretty, but not pretty enough.

You are talented, but not talented enough.

You are smart, but not smart enough.

You did all you could, but it was not enough. "

These are some of the haunting thought patterns that are all too familiar to someone who has fallen prey to the lie that in comparison to others, they are only second best.

Truthfully, right now, two days before I graduate from college, I should be writing a ten page paper and studying for a humongous final. Even so, my heart and mind are racing with passion and cannot help but shed light and truth onto this lie that so many women I know, and I am sure men as well, have accepted about themselves.

Those that are close to me know that part of my story is that throughout middle school and the beginning of high school I struggled with anorexia. I struggled to see any worth or significance in myself. I compared myself to any girl that walked into the room, and no matter who she was or what she looked like, for whatever reason, in my mind I always came up short. I was always just second best. Sadly, I have heard this story of always being just "second best" repeated out of the mouths of countless teenage girls, close friends of mine, adult women in my life, and I am positive there are more. This absolutely. breaks. my. heart. 

The truth is, that when you accept being second best, it is only then that you become second best. It is then that you settle for a lie, and become the second best version of you. When we exchange the truth for a lie, despite its promises to fulfill, all we find is death. Death to our joy, our passion, our dreams, our confidence, our potential, our strength, our uniqueness, our desire to take risks, and so much more. Comparison kills. A mentor of mine shared a beautiful illustration with me. She described women as a whole like a museum. Each woman representing a different piece of art, a different masterpiece within the museum. When you go to a museum and admire all of the pieces displayed, one piece's beauty does not take away from another's. No, truly each piece is to be celebrated and admired for its own uniqueness and beauty. There is something to learn from and appreciate in each work of art. 

Together, we make up the body of Christ, all with different functions, giftings, and callings that come together to form one beautiful, powerful movement. If just one part of the body fails to function properly, fails to embrace who God has created them to be, the whole body suffers and is weaker. For example, say you have a nose and a foot. The nose thinks the foot is the most pretty, funny, smart part of the whole body. The nose wishes it was more like the foot. So, the nose tries everything possible to be like the foot. Of course, it is not long before the nose feels hopeless. No matter how hard it tries to be like the foot, it just cannot be a foot. It feels like just second best in comparison. Realistically, of course the nose cannot be a foot - it was not created to be a foot! A nose and a foot have completely different functions, but each equally important for one whole, functioning body. There is no second best part within the body. Each part is necessary. Each limb is important. Each individual has infinite value in order for the whole to function most effectively.

So, beautiful girl, you are not second best. You are strong. You are gifted. You are loved. You are valuable. You have worth. You have so much to offer this world. You are chosen. You are destined for greatness. You matter. Do not be held back by a lie that tells you any differently. 

Your greatest weapon against comparison is the Word of God. The Bible. The truth. I cannot stress enough the importance of reading and knowing the Word. It will radically transform your heart, mind, the way you view other people, and the way you view yourself.

I long for the day when women walk in freedom and confidence. I long for the day when women truly understand that comparison kills, and do not fall victim to it. I long for the day when women are no longer overwhelmed by the painful weight of always striving to be better, to be "the best." I long for the day when women's hearts are at peace with who they are and who they have been created to be, for that is when we are truly the best.