15 Things I'd Tell 15 Year Old Me

1) It's ok that you haven't kissed a boy yet. You will be so thankful you waited.

2) There is so much more to who you are than trying to be "the prettiest girl in the room."

3) Be nice to your mom. She loves you so much, and will become your best friend.

4) If your heart is telling you not to do something, DON'T.

5) The popular crowd is overrated.

6) Always sit and talk with the person who is by themselves. Be nice to everyone, and don't gossip.

7) Go to that youth group you keep getting invited to. It will change your life.

8) Don't let insecurity hold you back from trying anything new, or make you quit something you love.

9) When a "friend" belittles you, say goodbye to that relationship. Choose friends who make you feel good about who you are.

10) You are deeply loved by more people than you know. Remember that.

11) Your legs are not fat. They are strong, beautiful, and will carry you through a marathon someday. Take care of your body, and appreciate the health you have.

12) Talk to your brothers. Be their friend. I know you're all in this awkward teenager stage right now, but they need you - and you need them. Your time with them is precious.

13) Sometimes things feel really painful and impossible right now, but please don't give up. Trust me, life gets so much better.

14) One true friend is better than five flaky ones.

15) You are beautiful, smart, witty, talented, and one-of-a-kind. There is no else quite like you, and that's an incredible thing. The world needs your unique beauty. Be confidently you, because that is what will change the world. ❤️

Second Best

"You did a good job, but not good enough. 

You are pretty, but not pretty enough.

You are talented, but not talented enough.

You are smart, but not smart enough.

You did all you could, but it was not enough. "

These are some of the haunting thought patterns that are all too familiar to someone who has fallen prey to the lie that in comparison to others, they are only second best.

Truthfully, right now, two days before I graduate from college, I should be writing a ten page paper and studying for a humongous final. Even so, my heart and mind are racing with passion and cannot help but shed light and truth onto this lie that so many women I know, and I am sure men as well, have accepted about themselves.

Those that are close to me know that part of my story is that throughout middle school and the beginning of high school I struggled with anorexia. I struggled to see any worth or significance in myself. I compared myself to any girl that walked into the room, and no matter who she was or what she looked like, for whatever reason, in my mind I always came up short. I was always just second best. Sadly, I have heard this story of always being just "second best" repeated out of the mouths of countless teenage girls, close friends of mine, adult women in my life, and I am positive there are more. This absolutely. breaks. my. heart. 

The truth is, that when you accept being second best, it is only then that you become second best. It is then that you settle for a lie, and become the second best version of you. When we exchange the truth for a lie, despite its promises to fulfill, all we find is death. Death to our joy, our passion, our dreams, our confidence, our potential, our strength, our uniqueness, our desire to take risks, and so much more. Comparison kills. A mentor of mine shared a beautiful illustration with me. She described women as a whole like a museum. Each woman representing a different piece of art, a different masterpiece within the museum. When you go to a museum and admire all of the pieces displayed, one piece's beauty does not take away from another's. No, truly each piece is to be celebrated and admired for its own uniqueness and beauty. There is something to learn from and appreciate in each work of art. 

Together, we make up the body of Christ, all with different functions, giftings, and callings that come together to form one beautiful, powerful movement. If just one part of the body fails to function properly, fails to embrace who God has created them to be, the whole body suffers and is weaker. For example, say you have a nose and a foot. The nose thinks the foot is the most pretty, funny, smart part of the whole body. The nose wishes it was more like the foot. So, the nose tries everything possible to be like the foot. Of course, it is not long before the nose feels hopeless. No matter how hard it tries to be like the foot, it just cannot be a foot. It feels like just second best in comparison. Realistically, of course the nose cannot be a foot - it was not created to be a foot! A nose and a foot have completely different functions, but each equally important for one whole, functioning body. There is no second best part within the body. Each part is necessary. Each limb is important. Each individual has infinite value in order for the whole to function most effectively.

So, beautiful girl, you are not second best. You are strong. You are gifted. You are loved. You are valuable. You have worth. You have so much to offer this world. You are chosen. You are destined for greatness. You matter. Do not be held back by a lie that tells you any differently. 

Your greatest weapon against comparison is the Word of God. The Bible. The truth. I cannot stress enough the importance of reading and knowing the Word. It will radically transform your heart, mind, the way you view other people, and the way you view yourself.

I long for the day when women walk in freedom and confidence. I long for the day when women truly understand that comparison kills, and do not fall victim to it. I long for the day when women are no longer overwhelmed by the painful weight of always striving to be better, to be "the best." I long for the day when women's hearts are at peace with who they are and who they have been created to be, for that is when we are truly the best.

#HASHTAGCAMP

*Drum roll please*
(side note: if you didn't click play on the song above, go back and do so now. you must. it's so great.)

     IS GOD GOOD OR WHAT?! Buckle up for some crazy praise reports, my friends! I spent last week counseling seven high school girls at Lake Geneva Christian Center in Alexandria, MN. I went into the week thinking it was going to be the easiest week ever since all my girls are so stellar. In all actuality, [my girls are still stellar, but] the week started out quite challenging to me as a leader! After the first day or two, I had to let go of my personal camp expectations and allow my desire to ultimately be God's Will for the week, not mine. As I did that, God really began to speak to me about my girls. Having some one-on-one time with them also made a world of difference in learning where their hearts were at. Later in the week I was able to affirm them as student leaders and encourage them to ask God what He would have for them personally each day, as well as take advantage of opportunities to lead others around them who may not be as spiritually mature as them. Wow oh wow, was that a game changer! So proud of those beautiful young women.
   
     One of my girls, whom I'd never met before, came in with a lot of incomprehensible baggage and pain. Even from just a physical perspective, you could tell she was being weighed down. I was in awe, but so thankful she opened up to me right away that first night. God's favor for sure. On the last night, after praying with another one of my girls (acting out in student leadership, hallelujah, so proud), she was baptized in the Holy Spirit!! Praise God! What a transformation over the course of the week!

I literally lost track of the amount of healings I was blessed to witness. God taught me so much about healing ministry this week. I didn't even know this was a spiritual gift, but I am so honored to say that I believe God has anointed me to heal people through.. so crazy!! It all started with a little prayer last summer asking God if I could have the privilege of witnessing just one physical healing because it would be super cool to see. Ha, it is incredible what He's shown me in just one year! So many miraculous healings! This past week at camp alone as far as I know of/remember:

-Andrea's ankle (see ya, crutches) -Caraline's feet/ankles (state champion high jumper who hadn't been able to jump in months, but so passionate about it and gifted at it, went out to the track Saturday morning to jump... PAIN FREE!) -Taylor's two different length arms -Taylor's sense of smell -Cut on Emma's foot -Connor's deaf right ear -Molly's dislocated knee -Jason's messed up knee -This girl's jacked up neck/back after a car accident -A leader's lost voice

ALL HEALED IN THE NAME OF JESUS! Not to mention, all God taught me about faith and healing, as well as different reasons why healing may not occur the second we ask. I asked God on Monday afternoon (the day we arrived) to heal just one of my girls through me during the week. What a demonstration of His power it would be to them. Wow. He just multiplies that request to no end. Nothing like His provision. Thankful for an awesome week and even more so for such an awesome God.

In the Midst of Tragedy.

"Where, O death, is your victory?

 Where, O death, is your sting?"    

- 1 Corinthians 15:55

     In this past week alone, I've received the trying news of three individuals' deaths whom I personally knew. My heart is heavy for fellow friends and families of these souls. Tragically, one of the deaths was a young, beautiful, nineteen year old girl, named Taylor, who I knew from high school FCA. My Facebook newsfeed is filled with sweet tributes, nostalgic photos, posts regarding prayer, and encouragement to others' affected by the loss.

     In the midst of a tragedy like this, many are feeling the sting. The sting of a loved one no longer here. The sting of, "why?" So when 1 Corinthians 15:55 asks death where its victory and sting have gone, what is it referring to?

Jesus.

     As believers, Jesus' death and resurrection have given us victory over death (and all our sin). In this chapter of the Bible, Paul was reassuring the Corinthians (and us) that Jesus' resurrection from the dead was a real event and a real victory. Someone shared an illustration with me once involving a young boy sitting on his mother's lap. The two were just sitting together, loving one another, when all of a sudden, the boy became very afraid of a bee buzzing around nearby. The boy cried out to his mother. She told him not to be afraid of the bee. As the young boy, still fearful, asked why, his mother opened up her hand. She pulled out a stinger and showed it to the boy. The mother told her son he didn't have to be afraid because the bee had already stung her, therefore it could not sting him. He no longer had any reason to fear.

     In this way, Jesus has forever removed the "stinger" for us. We have no reason to fear death for Jesus has conquered it for us, giving us full access to eternal life in heaven. No longer do we say, "Goodbyes," rather we say, "See you later's." Taylor was a beautiful woman of faith, kindness, and strength. My heart smiles confidently knowing she is laughing, dancing, running, and soaking in the everlasting love, joy, beauty, and peace of being beside her Father in heaven. Ah. Rest in peace, precious angel.

     Though many of us here feel the sting and heartbreak of losing a loved one, my heart fills with hope as I witness a community come together strongly in love, support, prayer, and encouragement. It's truly beautiful to be part of a body of people, like family, who in the midst of tragedy, stop and turn to God, as well as to one another. I love that. That's how we were designed to be, dependent upon God and a part of genuine, supportive community. More than just in the midst of tragedy, but at every moment of every day, depending upon our Savior for guidance, wisdom, strength, love, and peace.

     Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to this purpose." I already see the goodness and beauty of a powerful, uniting community beginning to form. Let's trust God. Let's forgive one another and never stop loving others. Let's make the best of each day that we have and breath that we take. Life is precious. Let's continue to pray for the Ziebol family, as well as for all of those affected. Jesus, bring comfort and peace in the midst of tragedy. You are good and You are forever, Lord.

Seasons.

HELLO AGAIN BLOGGING WORLD!!!

    

 Season : a time characterized by a particular circumstance or feature.

                                                                                                                                    - Merriam Webster

     We've all heard in life there are different seasons. These seasons can be characterized by all sorts of factors, such as: age, weather, marital status, commitments, current career, etc. As you probably know, I have not written on this blog in a long. stinkin'. time. Since last fall, in fact. There were days when I really wanted to, but didn't seem to have the time. There were days when I had the time, but just didn't feel like it. There were days when I really wanted to and had the time, but not the slightest idea what to write about (believe it or not) or how to put anything into words. Sometimes I worried I'd lost my "writer's touch." Sometimes I felt guilty, as though I was lazy and not doing what God wanted me to. Oh, how wrong I was.

     After all this time, I've learned a lot about different seasons in life. Above all, THEY EXIST! They really do! I'm in a really awesome season of life right now with so many opportunities for ministry, but  with a plethora of accepted opportunities, comes a very full calendar. For many months, I wore myself thin, trying to equally dispense my time, energy, and talents into the various activities that make up my life: school, work, family, friends, youth leading, small groups, writing, mentorships, personal health (exercise, sleep) and more, let alone time with Jesus each day. As a result, each of these areas of my life received an extremely exhausted snippet of my time, energy, and talents.

     As I read the book, "The Resolution for Women," by Priscilla Shirer, I had a major revelation.

I learned that balance is not attempting to equally dispense my efforts into the zillions of demands in life. Rather, balance is prayerfully considering and asking God what our priorities should be in this present season of life. 

When we focus on the current "primary" activities, we are able to give the best of ourselves to them. Meanwhile, this doesn't mean we totally drop/forget about the other activities. It simply means we temporarily place them aside from our present focus, until God instructs us to do otherwise. That said, writing, though one of my biggest passions, was put on hold for awhile as I focused on other ministries, my family, and some key friendships, as well as allowed God to mold my heart into more like His. I have learned A LOT and I am so thankful. About a week ago and confirmed again this weekend, God gave me the green light for writing again and I have such peace about it. No longer a stressor. Hallelujah. What's up, blogging world. I'm back.

Emotions.

Emotions.

We all have them and we all experience them, from ferocious anger to overflowing joy. As women, we are often characterized as being overly emotional.
Newsflash.
Emotions are not bad! In fact, emotions are God-given. We reflect God in that we are emotional. God feels grief, anger, love, passion, and joy, just as we do. Let that sink in for a minute. Emotions themselves are not bad, but rather what we do with negative emotions can be destructive. Before sin entered the world, God had good intentions in designing his people with the ability to experience emotion. All emotions were beneficial and in alignment with God’s nature. After sin entered the world, people began experiencing thoughts and emotions that were not of God. These emotions were self-centered and devastating to relationships. These types of negative emotions still exist today: jealousy, guilt, anger, loneliness, bitterness, worthlessness, and more. Fortunately, these emotions can be helpful when used in the right manner. They can be very telling of where a heart is. For example, there have been times when someone I care about is praised and given much attention for something great. Instead of celebrating with them, I have been jealous. In fact, I have even put myself down for not doing something as well.
Hold up. Where is my heart in this moment?

Proverbs 14:30 NIV says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Philippians 2:3 NIV says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.”

When I allow these jealous emotions to have their way, they bring nothing but destruction upon myself and my relationship with this individual. Instead of being jealous, I am called to humble myself, love others, and place them before myself.
Emotions can either be constructive or destructive. When we act upon negative thoughts, assumptions are made and havoc is wreaked. We are only to recognize these feelings, not act upon them. Acknowledge negative emotions, but then choose to confront them with truth (God’s Word) – paving the way to constructivism.

Thankful Thirty.

     As November comes to a close, I am overwhelmed with the amount of things I have to be thankful for. God has blessed me with far more than I deserve. I'm tired of complaining and consistently wanting more. I want to develop a heart filled with gratitude and the desire to GIVE, let alone be content. In honor of Thanksgiving, I am going to list thirty things I am thankful for in correspondence with the thirty days of November. In an ideal blogging world, I would have thought of this wonderful, totally not already over-done idea on the first of month, and would have had the time each day to write a deep, thought-provoking, inspiring post. But, here I am on day twenty-five. I certainly do not live in a perfect blogging world, let alone perfect world at all, but I am thankful regardless.

My Top 5

1. God. Every single thing on this list is a blessing stemmed from Him. His grace. His belief in me. His love. His peace. His forgiveness. I could go on and on.
2. My mom. She is the strongest woman, if not person, I know. She is so selfless, hard-working and forgiving. I love her dearly. She also is the silliest lady ever.
3. My dad. He has always been the funny guy. He is so witty. I have so many memories with him that the mere thought of can make me laugh, even cry. My dad will always hold a special place in my heart. I love him very much.
4. B&K. Good, 'ol Brian and Kevin. My twin younger brothers. My mischievous childhood partners in crime. Two of the funniest people in the world... and at times the most irritating. Though, I know I am guilty as well. I love that we all have the same sense of humor. I would give my life for either of them in a heartbeat.
5. Mr. Daniel Juul. I would not be the woman of God I am today without my best friend and sweet love. He is a dear treasure of mine. I thank God for him every day.
6. Friends who love and support me. Genuine friends who encourage me to be the best woman I can be.
7. My doggie, Toby. He brings the silliest, yet weirdest sides out of me and I love it. We frequently dance, snuggle, chase each other, kiss each other, communicate (I make high pitched voices and he barks - quite intelligent, I know), and love each other unconditionally. I am a crazy dog lover and proud.
8. The wise leaders and mentors in my life. Gina Guntlisbergen, Micah and Stephanie MacDonald, among so many others, I would not be the woman I am today without these people and their belief in me!
9. My warm, safe house.
10. My heavenly comfortable bed.
11. My working car.
12. An exceptional education.
13. North Central University.
14. Professors who care for and believe in me.
15. A plethora of food and clean, hot water.
16. A healthy, fully-functioning body.
17. A well-paying, flexible job.
18. Cedar Valley Church.
19. Opportunities to utilize and develop further leadership skills.
20. That I live in America and am able to legally exercise my faith freely.
21. The on-going difficulties my family has endured this past year. They are teaching me patience and to truly trust God, as well as His timing with everything and every relationship in my life. They are causing many Godly characteristics to develop within me. 
22. My mistakes. They have all helped me learn valuable, needed life lessons and shape me into who I am today.
23. My iPhone. This sounds silly, but I am thankful I have such a nifty device that helps keep me connected with others so easily.
24. An awesome laptop + Internet. I don't know how I would have made it this far through college without one! It has helped me so much with more than just writing papers and doing research, but with taking notes, looking up crafts and recipes, writing for pleasure, keeping a calendar, watching movies, storing music/pictures, ordering things, learning how to do new things, finding jobs, and much more.
25. All of the places I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel to, especially outside of the United States - England (June 2008) and Costa Rica (June 2012)!
26. More clothing and shoes than any single human could ever need.
27. Coffee. I daily depend on the Lord's strength, but a little caffeine kick never hurts. ;)
28. Books - especially ones full of wisdom!
29. Music - especially that indie/folk/total hipster stuff. Love it.
30. Candles. The past three things are all so comforting to me. I thank God I am able to afford each of these things and take pleasure in involving them within my leisure time.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,
who does not change like shifting."
- James 1:17 NIV