In the Midst of Tragedy.

"Where, O death, is your victory?

 Where, O death, is your sting?"    

- 1 Corinthians 15:55

     In this past week alone, I've received the trying news of three individuals' deaths whom I personally knew. My heart is heavy for fellow friends and families of these souls. Tragically, one of the deaths was a young, beautiful, nineteen year old girl, named Taylor, who I knew from high school FCA. My Facebook newsfeed is filled with sweet tributes, nostalgic photos, posts regarding prayer, and encouragement to others' affected by the loss.

     In the midst of a tragedy like this, many are feeling the sting. The sting of a loved one no longer here. The sting of, "why?" So when 1 Corinthians 15:55 asks death where its victory and sting have gone, what is it referring to?

Jesus.

     As believers, Jesus' death and resurrection have given us victory over death (and all our sin). In this chapter of the Bible, Paul was reassuring the Corinthians (and us) that Jesus' resurrection from the dead was a real event and a real victory. Someone shared an illustration with me once involving a young boy sitting on his mother's lap. The two were just sitting together, loving one another, when all of a sudden, the boy became very afraid of a bee buzzing around nearby. The boy cried out to his mother. She told him not to be afraid of the bee. As the young boy, still fearful, asked why, his mother opened up her hand. She pulled out a stinger and showed it to the boy. The mother told her son he didn't have to be afraid because the bee had already stung her, therefore it could not sting him. He no longer had any reason to fear.

     In this way, Jesus has forever removed the "stinger" for us. We have no reason to fear death for Jesus has conquered it for us, giving us full access to eternal life in heaven. No longer do we say, "Goodbyes," rather we say, "See you later's." Taylor was a beautiful woman of faith, kindness, and strength. My heart smiles confidently knowing she is laughing, dancing, running, and soaking in the everlasting love, joy, beauty, and peace of being beside her Father in heaven. Ah. Rest in peace, precious angel.

     Though many of us here feel the sting and heartbreak of losing a loved one, my heart fills with hope as I witness a community come together strongly in love, support, prayer, and encouragement. It's truly beautiful to be part of a body of people, like family, who in the midst of tragedy, stop and turn to God, as well as to one another. I love that. That's how we were designed to be, dependent upon God and a part of genuine, supportive community. More than just in the midst of tragedy, but at every moment of every day, depending upon our Savior for guidance, wisdom, strength, love, and peace.

     Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to this purpose." I already see the goodness and beauty of a powerful, uniting community beginning to form. Let's trust God. Let's forgive one another and never stop loving others. Let's make the best of each day that we have and breath that we take. Life is precious. Let's continue to pray for the Ziebol family, as well as for all of those affected. Jesus, bring comfort and peace in the midst of tragedy. You are good and You are forever, Lord.

Seasons.

HELLO AGAIN BLOGGING WORLD!!!

    

 Season : a time characterized by a particular circumstance or feature.

                                                                                                                                    - Merriam Webster

     We've all heard in life there are different seasons. These seasons can be characterized by all sorts of factors, such as: age, weather, marital status, commitments, current career, etc. As you probably know, I have not written on this blog in a long. stinkin'. time. Since last fall, in fact. There were days when I really wanted to, but didn't seem to have the time. There were days when I had the time, but just didn't feel like it. There were days when I really wanted to and had the time, but not the slightest idea what to write about (believe it or not) or how to put anything into words. Sometimes I worried I'd lost my "writer's touch." Sometimes I felt guilty, as though I was lazy and not doing what God wanted me to. Oh, how wrong I was.

     After all this time, I've learned a lot about different seasons in life. Above all, THEY EXIST! They really do! I'm in a really awesome season of life right now with so many opportunities for ministry, but  with a plethora of accepted opportunities, comes a very full calendar. For many months, I wore myself thin, trying to equally dispense my time, energy, and talents into the various activities that make up my life: school, work, family, friends, youth leading, small groups, writing, mentorships, personal health (exercise, sleep) and more, let alone time with Jesus each day. As a result, each of these areas of my life received an extremely exhausted snippet of my time, energy, and talents.

     As I read the book, "The Resolution for Women," by Priscilla Shirer, I had a major revelation.

I learned that balance is not attempting to equally dispense my efforts into the zillions of demands in life. Rather, balance is prayerfully considering and asking God what our priorities should be in this present season of life. 

When we focus on the current "primary" activities, we are able to give the best of ourselves to them. Meanwhile, this doesn't mean we totally drop/forget about the other activities. It simply means we temporarily place them aside from our present focus, until God instructs us to do otherwise. That said, writing, though one of my biggest passions, was put on hold for awhile as I focused on other ministries, my family, and some key friendships, as well as allowed God to mold my heart into more like His. I have learned A LOT and I am so thankful. About a week ago and confirmed again this weekend, God gave me the green light for writing again and I have such peace about it. No longer a stressor. Hallelujah. What's up, blogging world. I'm back.

Emotions.

Emotions.

We all have them and we all experience them, from ferocious anger to overflowing joy. As women, we are often characterized as being overly emotional.
Newsflash.
Emotions are not bad! In fact, emotions are God-given. We reflect God in that we are emotional. God feels grief, anger, love, passion, and joy, just as we do. Let that sink in for a minute. Emotions themselves are not bad, but rather what we do with negative emotions can be destructive. Before sin entered the world, God had good intentions in designing his people with the ability to experience emotion. All emotions were beneficial and in alignment with God’s nature. After sin entered the world, people began experiencing thoughts and emotions that were not of God. These emotions were self-centered and devastating to relationships. These types of negative emotions still exist today: jealousy, guilt, anger, loneliness, bitterness, worthlessness, and more. Fortunately, these emotions can be helpful when used in the right manner. They can be very telling of where a heart is. For example, there have been times when someone I care about is praised and given much attention for something great. Instead of celebrating with them, I have been jealous. In fact, I have even put myself down for not doing something as well.
Hold up. Where is my heart in this moment?

Proverbs 14:30 NIV says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Philippians 2:3 NIV says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.”

When I allow these jealous emotions to have their way, they bring nothing but destruction upon myself and my relationship with this individual. Instead of being jealous, I am called to humble myself, love others, and place them before myself.
Emotions can either be constructive or destructive. When we act upon negative thoughts, assumptions are made and havoc is wreaked. We are only to recognize these feelings, not act upon them. Acknowledge negative emotions, but then choose to confront them with truth (God’s Word) – paving the way to constructivism.

Thankful Thirty.

     As November comes to a close, I am overwhelmed with the amount of things I have to be thankful for. God has blessed me with far more than I deserve. I'm tired of complaining and consistently wanting more. I want to develop a heart filled with gratitude and the desire to GIVE, let alone be content. In honor of Thanksgiving, I am going to list thirty things I am thankful for in correspondence with the thirty days of November. In an ideal blogging world, I would have thought of this wonderful, totally not already over-done idea on the first of month, and would have had the time each day to write a deep, thought-provoking, inspiring post. But, here I am on day twenty-five. I certainly do not live in a perfect blogging world, let alone perfect world at all, but I am thankful regardless.

My Top 5

1. God. Every single thing on this list is a blessing stemmed from Him. His grace. His belief in me. His love. His peace. His forgiveness. I could go on and on.
2. My mom. She is the strongest woman, if not person, I know. She is so selfless, hard-working and forgiving. I love her dearly. She also is the silliest lady ever.
3. My dad. He has always been the funny guy. He is so witty. I have so many memories with him that the mere thought of can make me laugh, even cry. My dad will always hold a special place in my heart. I love him very much.
4. B&K. Good, 'ol Brian and Kevin. My twin younger brothers. My mischievous childhood partners in crime. Two of the funniest people in the world... and at times the most irritating. Though, I know I am guilty as well. I love that we all have the same sense of humor. I would give my life for either of them in a heartbeat.
5. Mr. Daniel Juul. I would not be the woman of God I am today without my best friend and sweet love. He is a dear treasure of mine. I thank God for him every day.
6. Friends who love and support me. Genuine friends who encourage me to be the best woman I can be.
7. My doggie, Toby. He brings the silliest, yet weirdest sides out of me and I love it. We frequently dance, snuggle, chase each other, kiss each other, communicate (I make high pitched voices and he barks - quite intelligent, I know), and love each other unconditionally. I am a crazy dog lover and proud.
8. The wise leaders and mentors in my life. Gina Guntlisbergen, Micah and Stephanie MacDonald, among so many others, I would not be the woman I am today without these people and their belief in me!
9. My warm, safe house.
10. My heavenly comfortable bed.
11. My working car.
12. An exceptional education.
13. North Central University.
14. Professors who care for and believe in me.
15. A plethora of food and clean, hot water.
16. A healthy, fully-functioning body.
17. A well-paying, flexible job.
18. Cedar Valley Church.
19. Opportunities to utilize and develop further leadership skills.
20. That I live in America and am able to legally exercise my faith freely.
21. The on-going difficulties my family has endured this past year. They are teaching me patience and to truly trust God, as well as His timing with everything and every relationship in my life. They are causing many Godly characteristics to develop within me. 
22. My mistakes. They have all helped me learn valuable, needed life lessons and shape me into who I am today.
23. My iPhone. This sounds silly, but I am thankful I have such a nifty device that helps keep me connected with others so easily.
24. An awesome laptop + Internet. I don't know how I would have made it this far through college without one! It has helped me so much with more than just writing papers and doing research, but with taking notes, looking up crafts and recipes, writing for pleasure, keeping a calendar, watching movies, storing music/pictures, ordering things, learning how to do new things, finding jobs, and much more.
25. All of the places I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel to, especially outside of the United States - England (June 2008) and Costa Rica (June 2012)!
26. More clothing and shoes than any single human could ever need.
27. Coffee. I daily depend on the Lord's strength, but a little caffeine kick never hurts. ;)
28. Books - especially ones full of wisdom!
29. Music - especially that indie/folk/total hipster stuff. Love it.
30. Candles. The past three things are all so comforting to me. I thank God I am able to afford each of these things and take pleasure in involving them within my leisure time.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,
who does not change like shifting."
- James 1:17 NIV

Two Years.

     Last month, on October 30th, Daniel and I celebrated two years of dating! This seems so cliche to say, but I truly am a blessed woman. This relationship has challenged me and caused me to grow in countless ways. I truly believe that I am dating the silliest, most handsome, wisest, strongest, selfless, caring man in the world. He inspires and motivates me daily. I sure love that monkey of mine. :)

*All of these pictures were taken by our dear friend, Miss Madison Groves!

Here we go, sophomore year!

Thank God for godly friends.

     

     Today is the day! Well, yesterday was technically, but I found some free time to blog today. This week I began my my sophomore year at North Central University and I could not be more excited. I love schedule and structure, so I'm thankful to be back in school. This year I am commuting instead of living the dorm life, which is so great for me. I love North Central, but it's so nice to be able to go home to some "me time" (not to mention a full kitchen). I've found I'm much more efficient with my free time, school work, and time with the Lord this way. I've also been blessed with an awesome after-school nanny job for the entire school year! Check out the cool God story here! Going into this school year I made goals. I hope by sharing them over the world wide web I am kept more accountable. If anything, may they encourage and challenge you to make some goals for yourself!

1. Be frugal and save the money I make!
   
   "Who am I and what can I do without? Rather than who am I because of what I can acquire."
2. In the words of a wise youth leader and friend, Josiah Kennealy, "be early to bed and early to rise." My time with God in the mornings must be and continue to be a major priority above all else.
3. Be organzied, so that I can be successful in school. I want to honor God with my schoolwork and the motivation/dedication I have towards it. 
4. I've been reading a lot lately about loving the Gifter more than His gifts. I want to love and desire God far more than the blessings He has given me. He deserves all the honor and praise!

Here's to a great year!

Always.

Filled 150 water balloons with my nanny kids this summer and put
them all on the trampoline! So fun - this photo does not do it justice!

     "Don't worry about it. You will be just fine. I've got it." These were the words I felt God press upon my heart a few Saturday's ago as I spent time in prayer, unsure of what my job situation was going to look like this coming school year. Last year I regularly over-worked myself. I missed out on a lot of opportunities to bond with my floor and others at NCU, as well as free time on weekends (gotta love retail jobs) to plan events for my youth group girls, let alone just have "me time." Meanwhile, I had been nannying all summer and was so sad to see my wonderful summer job come to an end. I wished there was someway I could still nanny over the school year, but figured it wasn't possible with my 18 credit schedule. So, I applied at a couple places around where I live, but to no avail. No one ever called me.
     Which brings me back to... "Don't worry about it. You will be just fine. I've got it." As difficult as it was, I told God that I trusted Him and knew He'd provide in the ways that I need. Sure enough, only hours later, that evening I received a message from a woman looking for after school childcare four days a week! I responded to her message almost instantly, had an interview the next day after church, and the following evening I had the job. Man, is God faithful or what? Always has been and always will be. Always.